BUNT GLOBAL FEMINIST THINK TANK
◆ BUNT | GLOBAL INTELLIGENCE NETWORK
CLASSIFIED LIVE
FINISHED FOREPLAY
0
PEOPLE ARE CURRENTLY FUCKING WORLDWIDE
LAT/LNG ---.--- / ---.---
REFRESH RATE 5.0s
DATA
POINTS 0
FPS
FUCKS/SEC 0
0.00 FPS
FUCKS PER SECOND
Powered By: Bunt™
◉ GLOBAL COITAL THREAT LEVEL
1
2
3
4
5
ELEVATED — Significant activity detected across multiple theatres
▲ ENCOUNTERS / MINUTE
0
+0% vs avg
◈ AVG DURATION
19.4min
±2.3 min variance
⬡ PEAK HOUR (UTC)
22:00
Based on timezone weighting
◇ ACTIVE NATIONS
195
100% coverage
◎ 24-HOUR GLOBAL ACTIVITY CURVE
HOUR (UTC)
⊞ REGIONAL THEATRE BREAKDOWN
✶ SPERMANALYSIS: THE CHILDREN OF BUNT
DRAG TO ROTATE / PINCH TO ZOOM
LUKE PAGE PATERNITY PER CAPITA
2.0%
NUTS BUSTED / SESSION
3.1
MOTILITY INDEX
88/100
RICKY'S TIPS
$450.00 USD
/ week

We map intimacy as infrastructure.

We translate private moments into a global signal. We publish the live pattern.

FIELD PRINCIPLES
  • Signal over noise
  • Consent as baseline
  • ALL COCK NO BALLS
  • Visibility without exposure
KEY RESEARCHERS: THE FUCKERS
R-Cap Meatball Slop Brooke Wilters Dane Hodges
Our Mission

Build the world’s most candid, human-first telemetry of coital activity—live, responsibly, and without surveillance.

What We Stand For

Playful truth, statistical integrity, and a refusal to pretend intimacy doesn’t shape the modern world.

Who Is Fucking

Everyone, everywhere—weighted by timezones, population density, and the rhythms of modern life.

Uptime 99.992%
Latency 84ms
Coverage 97%
Confidence 0.88
Trusted by agencies, labs, and universities
Palantir NASA ESA United Nations World Health Organization UNICEF
Palantir NASA ESA United Nations World Health Organization UNICEF
MIT Harvard Stanford University of Oxford University of Cambridge UC Berkeley
MIT Harvard Stanford University of Oxford University of Cambridge UC Berkeley

Operators Wanted

We’re building a field team for the world’s most honest signal. If you can hold a line between clarity and data integrity, we want you.

Analyst Temporal modeling, anomaly detection, narrative framing.
Research Field surveys, behavioral inference, ethics reviews.
Ops Real-time systems, uptime, regional signal routing.
HUMBLE REQUEST

Help build a better future for BUNT.

If you’re willing, report your fucks. It keeps the signal honest and the story human.

Anonymous. Opt-in. For the commons.

Data Provenance & Sources

This model is live. It blends demographic baselines with time-of-day weighting and published research on sexual frequency.

  • NATSAL (UK)
  • CDC NSFG (US)
  • WHO Global Health Observatory
  • UN World Population Prospects
BUNT GLOBAL FEMINIST THINK TANK · CLASSIFIED INTELLIGENCE PRODUCT
This dashboard is a satirical product of BUNT. All data is estimated from publicly available research. No actual surveillance is conducted. This is a joke. A really well-designed joke.